Category Archives: Getting It Together

Anything related to time management, effectiveness, being organized, getting to the things you really want to do, etc.

One of the best books I’ve ever read!

I just finished The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. Talk about life changing, inspiring, uplifting. If I follow through and apply the principles that were clarified for me in this book, I will be a far more mature, desirable and useful person. Everyone should read this book! There were many parts that warrant sharing but this one toward the end, talking about sharpening your saw, really jumped out at me.

“Just as the education of nerve and sinew is vital to the excellent athlete and education of the mind is vital to the scholar, education of the conscience is vital to the truly proactive, highly effective person. Training and educating the conscience, however, requires even greater concentration, more balanced discipline, more consistently honest living. It requires regular feasting on inspiring literature, thinking noble thoughts and, above all, living in harmony with its still small voice.

Just as junk food and lack of exercise can ruin an athlete’s condition, those things that are obscene, crude, or pornographic can breed an inner darkness that numbs our higher sensibilities and substitutes the social conscience of “Will I be found out?” for the natural or divine conscience of “What is right and wrong?”

In the worlds of Dag Hammarskjold,

 You cannot play with the animal in you without becoming wholly animal, play with falsehood without forfeiting your right to truth, play with cruelty without losing your sensitivity of mind. He who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn’t reserve a plot for weeds.

Once we are self-aware, we must choose purposes and principles to live by; otherwise the vacuum will be filled, and we will lose our self-awareness and become like groveling animals who live primarily for survival and propagation. People who exist on that level aren’t living; they are “being lived.” They are reacting, unaware of the unique endowments that lie dormant and undeveloped within.

And there is no shortcut to developing them. The law of the harvest governs; we will always reap what we sow—no more, no less. The law of justice is immutable, and the closer we align ourselves with correct principles, the better our judgment will be about how the world operates and the more accurate our paradigms—our maps of the territory—will be.”

I could go on and on but I won’t. I’m excited to integrate these lessons into my life, with greater awareness and understanding, and see what the results are down the road.

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Filed under Apples of Gold, Getting It Together, Great Books, Insights

Dependent, Independent or Interdependent

Several months ago, I picked up a copy of “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey, but just recently started to read it. Wow! So far, it is very insightful and I will probably be sharing from it more as I get farther into the book. I haven’t even gotten into the part about the 7 habits yet.

Before he launches into the meat of the book, he talks about 3 levels of maturity; dependence, independence and interdependence. Reading about these stages of development has been revolutionary for me. I have pinpointed what is causing some of the conflicts in a few of my relationships. Understanding that someone is operating from a completely different perspective than I am will hopefully help me avoid and diffuse situations. Here’s the breakdown of the 3 stages.

Dependent – the paradigm of you — you take care of me; you come through for me; you didn’t come through; I blame you for the results. Dependent people need others to get what they want.

Independent – Independence in the paradigm of I — I can do it; I am responsible; I am self-reliant; I can choose. Independent people can get what they want through their own effort.

Interdependent – Interdependence is the paradigm of we — we can do it; we can cooperate, we can combine our talents and abilities and create something great together.  Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success.

I’m sure there are plenty of people who have figured these stages of maturity out for themselves, but for me, this was revolutionary. Over the past couple of years I’ve been learning how to be independent in regard to my friendships, not to set my happiness on the performance of people. Rather than finding my happiness in myself however, I am learning to turn to the Author of happiness and joy and love and everything good, and set my expectations on Him. This is far more sure than myself, or any other human, as a foundation for anything lasting. I’ll share more as I continue to go through the book.

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